The Footsteps of a Broken Stranger

by October Girl

Published July 19, 2007

In poetry/lyrics

I have to block out thoughts of you.
Because all it brings is depression.
I walk in the damp sand.

Watching the tide come in.
My footprint is imprinted
into the damp sand.

As the waves wash over,
the footprints are gone.
Nobody will know I was there.

The memory of you washes away.
Taking a part of me with it, also with you
because all I am to you is a stranger.

All You are to me is a stranger.
You are broken.
I am broken.

Comments & reviews · 3
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Leja
Review
Leja wrote a review Review · Jul 22, 2007

I have to block out thoughts of you.
Because all it brings is depression.


Depression is such a generalized term. What does that really mean anymore? Give me something heart-wrenching.

The ideas seemed kind of half-formed, and tehy change so often I can't really keep track of them.

User avatar
Fand
Review
Fand wrote a review Review · Jul 19, 2007

Clau's right; this is a prime example of navel-gazing. While it means a lot to you, I'm sure, there's very little meaning to an objective (outside) reader. The errors in punctuation and capitalisation, as well, didn't exactly lend itself to a brilliant review.

In the words of the Great Bradshaw:

Scrap this.

User avatar
Emerson
Review
Emerson wrote a review Review · Jul 19, 2007

this was very list like, and navel gazing. I couldn't feel anything. It's just young poetry about depression, the emotions don't even make sense once on paper.

I think I critiqued another poem of yours, but my suggestion is still that you should read more poetry. oh and this article I wrote might help you: Emotional Poetry.



The tools of conquest do not necessarily come with bombs and explosions and fallout. There are weapons that are simply thoughts, attitudes, prejudices; to be found only in the minds of men. For the record, prejudices can kill, and suspicions can destroy. A thoughtless, frightened search for a scapegoat has a fallout all of its own.
— Rod Serling, Twilight Zone